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MOVIEPIQ · RELATIONAL MOMENTS

Films for When You Miss Someone You Chose to Leave

These picks were hand-selected for when missing someone you chose to leave, not by algorithm, by editors. Films that meet you where you are, not where they want you to be.

Films for missing someone you had good reasons to leave. The reasons still hold. That's the contradiction.

You have been going backward. Not to live there, just to touch the texture of a time that felt different, to confirm that easier versions of things existed once and might exist again. The nostalgia is something you are constructing deliberately from what's available, and you are aware of the construction and doing it anyway, because sometimes the manufactured version is the closest thing. These films work in the same register. They hold an earlier feeling with enough honesty that you can borrow it for a while.

Amélie movie poster
1
2001 · 122min · ★★★☆☆ 6.7/10

At a tiny Parisian café, the adorable yet painfully shy Amélie accidentally discovers a gift for helping others. Soon Amelie is spending her days as a matchmaker, guardian angel, and all-around do-gooder. But when she bumps into a handsome stranger, will she find the courage to b

It holds a register of warmth that belongs to an earlier time. Close enough to the feeling you're reaching for that you can borrow it for a while.

Safe to go backward

Casablanca movie poster
2
1943 · 102min · ★★★★☆ 7.7/10

In Casablanca, Morocco in December 1941, a cynical American expatriate meets a former lover, with unforeseen complications.

The texture of this film is familiar in the way old photographs are familiar. It gives you somewhere to put the tenderness that has nowhere else to go.

Holds the past carefully

American Gangster movie poster
3
2007 · 157min · ★★★★☆ 7.9/10

Loosely based on the criminal career of Frank Lucas, a gangster from La Grange, North Carolina, who smuggled heroin into the United States on American service planes returning from the Vietnam War, before being detained by a task force led by Newark Detective Richie Roberts.

It goes backward in the right way. Not nostalgic for nostalgia's sake, but honest about what it felt like when the thing you're missing was still there.

Warmth without demand

Cinema Paradiso movie poster
4
1988 · 124min · ★★★★☆ 8.3/10

A filmmaker recalls his childhood, when he fell in love with the movies at his village's theater and formed a deep friendship with the theater's projectionist.

The warmth of this film is specific and it is real and it doesn't require you to explain why you needed it.

Real enough to borrow

The films that follow lean into the texture of memory. They know what you are looking for in the past.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest movie poster
5
1975 · 133min · ★★★★☆ 7.5/10

A petty criminal fakes insanity to serve his sentence in a mental ward rather than prison. He soon finds himself as a leader to the other patients:and an enemy to the cruel, domineering nurse who runs the ward.

It holds a register of warmth that belongs to an earlier time. Close enough to the feeling you're reaching for that you can borrow it for a while.

Safe to go backward

Paris, Texas movie poster
6
1984 · 145min · ★★★★☆ 7.7/10

A man wanders out of the desert not knowing who he is. His brother finds him, and helps to pull his memory back of the life he led before he walked out on his family and disappeared four years earlier.

The texture of this film is familiar in the way old photographs are familiar. It gives you somewhere to put the tenderness that has nowhere else to go.

Holds the past carefully

The Usual Suspects movie poster
7
1995 · 106min · ★★★★☆ 8.5/10

Held in an L.A. interrogation room, Verbal Kint attempts to convince the feds that a mythic crime lord, Keyser Soze, not only exists, but was also responsible for drawing him and his four partners into a multi-million dollar heist that ended with an explosion in San Pedro harbor

It goes backward in the right way. Not nostalgic for nostalgia's sake, but honest about what it felt like when the thing you're missing was still there.

Warmth without demand

Das Boot movie poster
8
1981 · 150min · ★★★★☆ 7.5/10

A German submarine hunts allied ships during the Second World War, but it soon becomes the hunted. The crew tries to survive below the surface, while stretching both the boat and themselves to their limits.

The warmth of this film is specific and it is real and it doesn't require you to explain why you needed it.

Real enough to borrow

The Cure movie poster
9
1995 · 97min · ★★★★☆ 8.0/10

Erik, a loner, finds a friend in Dexter, an eleven-year-old boy with AIDS. They vow to find a cure for AIDS together and save Dexter's life in an eventful summer.

It holds a register of warmth that belongs to an earlier time. Close enough to the feeling you're reaching for that you can borrow it for a while.

Safe to go backward

GoodFellas movie poster
10
1990 · 145min · ★★★★☆ 8.0/10

The true story of Henry Hill, a half-Irish, half-Sicilian Brooklyn kid who is adopted by neighbourhood gangsters at an early age and climbs the ranks of a Mafia family under the guidance of Jimmy Conway.

The texture of this film is familiar in the way old photographs are familiar. It gives you somewhere to put the tenderness that has nowhere else to go.

Holds the past carefully

Schindler's List movie poster
11
1993 · 195min · ★★★☆☆ 6.7/10

The true story of how businessman Oskar Schindler saved over a thousand Jewish lives from the Nazis while they worked as slaves in his factory during World War II.

It goes backward in the right way. Not nostalgic for nostalgia's sake, but honest about what it felt like when the thing you're missing was still there.

Warmth without demand

What's Eating Gilbert Grape movie poster
12
1993 · 118min · ★★★☆☆ 6.4/10

Gilbert Grape is a small-town young man with a lot of responsibility. Chief among his concerns are his mother, who is so overweight that she can't leave the house, and his mentally impaired younger brother, Arnie, who has a knack for finding trouble. Settled into a job at a groce

The warmth of this film is specific and it is real and it doesn't require you to explain why you needed it.

Real enough to borrow

You can't go back. You can get close. These are close.

From the Blog

READ Movies to Watch When Lonely
READ Movies When You Just Got Dumped
READ Movies When You Miss Someone

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