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MOVIEPIQ · RELATIONAL MOMENTS

Films for When You Love Someone Who Cannot Love Themselves

These picks were hand-selected for when loving someone who doesnt love themselves, not by algorithm, by editors. Films that meet you where you are, not where they want you to be.

Films for when you love someone who deflects it, minimizes it, or disappears exactly when you get close.

You need to be somewhere else for a while. That is the full situation. Somewhere that doesn't require your presence, that asks nothing, that gives you the low warmth of another world to be in without the tax of your own. The dissociation is not a problem to be solved. It is a reasonable response to something unreasonable, and you are allowed to manage it this way for now. These films are built for exactly this. They will be there and so will you and nothing more will be required of either of you.

Soul movie poster
1
2020 · 101min · ★★★★☆ 8.5/10

Joe Gardner is a middle school teacher with a love for jazz music. After a successful audition at the Half Note Club, he suddenly gets into an accident that separates his soul from his body and is transported to the You Seminar, a center in which souls develop and gain passions b

It asks nothing of you. The world of this film is complete and self-contained and you can be in it without bringing anything from your actual life.

No presence required

Love, Simon movie poster
2
2018 · 110min · ★★★★☆ 7.8/10

Everyone deserves a great love story, but for 17-year-old Simon Spier, it's a little more complicated. He hasn't told his family or friends that he's gay, and he doesn't know the identity of the anonymous classmate that he's fallen for online.

Warm without being demanding. It gives you somewhere else to be for a couple of hours without requiring your presence.

Soft enough to float through

Gabriel's Inferno: Part II movie poster
3
2020 · 106min · ★★★☆☆ 7.3/10

Professor Gabriel Emerson finally learns the truth about Julia Mitchell's identity, but his realization comes a moment too late. Julia is done waiting for the well-respected Dante specialist to remember her and wants nothing more to do with him. Can Gabriel win back her heart bef

The kind of film that works when you need to not be in your own head. Low-friction, full world, no performance required.

Lets you be elsewhere

The Whale movie poster
4
2022 · 117min · ★★★★☆ 8.1/10

A reclusive English teacher suffering from severe obesity attempts to reconnect with his estranged teenage daughter for one last chance at redemption.

You can float through this one. It will hold you without asking you to hold it back.

Low-friction

No analysis required. You do not have to show up fully for any of these.

Your Name. movie poster
5
2016 · 106min · ★★★☆☆ 7.3/10

High schoolers Mitsuha and Taki are complete strangers living separate lives. But one night, they suddenly switch places. Mitsuha wakes up in Taki’s body, and he in hers. This bizarre occurrence continues to happen randomly, and the two must adjust their lives around each other.

It asks nothing of you. The world of this film is complete and self-contained and you can be in it without bringing anything from your actual life.

No presence required

20th Century Girl movie poster
6
2022 · 119min · ★★★★☆ 7.6/10

In 1999, a teen girl keeps close tabs on a boy in school on behalf of her deeply smitten best friend - then she gets swept up in a love story of her own.

Warm without being demanding. It gives you somewhere else to be for a couple of hours without requiring your presence.

Soft enough to float through

Josee, the Tiger and the Fish movie poster
7
2020 · 98min · ★★★★☆ 7.8/10

With dreams of diving abroad, Tsuneo gets a job assisting Josee, an artist whose imagination takes her far beyond her wheelchair. But when the tide turns against them, they push each other to places they never thought possible, and inspire a love fit for a storybook.

The kind of film that works when you need to not be in your own head. Low-friction, full world, no performance required.

Lets you be elsewhere

Gabriel's Inferno movie poster
8
2020 · 122min · ★★★★☆ 8.2/10

An intriguing and sinful exploration of seduction, forbidden love, and redemption, Gabriel's Inferno is a captivating and wildly passionate tale of one man's escape from his own personal hell as he tries to earn the impossible--forgiveness and love.

You can float through this one. It will hold you without asking you to hold it back.

Low-friction

All My Life movie poster
9
2020 · 93min · ★★★★☆ 7.8/10

It was a chance meeting started by one of Sol’s friends trying to chat up Jennifer. However, in the end, it was those two who hit it off. Sol enjoyed Jen’s smile, her effort, and how silly she could be. Jen enjoyed Sol’s cooking, his athleticism, and that he would join her in fun

It asks nothing of you. The world of this film is complete and self-contained and you can be in it without bringing anything from your actual life.

No presence required

David Attenborough: A Life on Our Planet movie poster
10
2020 · 83min · ★★★★☆ 7.7/10

The story of life on our planet by the man who has seen more of the natural world than any other. In more than 90 years, Attenborough has visited every continent on the globe, exploring the wild places of our planet and documenting the living world in all its variety and wonder.

Warm without being demanding. It gives you somewhere else to be for a couple of hours without requiring your presence.

Soft enough to float through

Dedicated to my ex movie poster
11
2019 · 94min · ★★★★☆ 8.3/10

The film tells the story of Ariel, a 21-year-old who decides to form a rock band to compete for a prize of ten thousand dollars in a musical band contest, this as a last option when trying to get money to save their relationship and reunite with his ex-girlfriend, which breaks du

The kind of film that works when you need to not be in your own head. Low-friction, full world, no performance required.

Lets you be elsewhere

The Father movie poster
12
2020 · 97min · ★★★★☆ 8.2/10

A man refuses all assistance from his daughter as he ages and, as he tries to make sense of his changing circumstances, he begins to doubt his loved ones, his own mind and even the fabric of his reality.

You can float through this one. It will hold you without asking you to hold it back.

Low-friction

Somewhere else. That's all you needed. Here it is.

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